Learn to rest.

“My self-worth is not based on my productivity.”

Struggled with understanding this above statement for many years, I remembered when I first stumbled upon this saying, I couldn’t even understand the meaning of it, to the extent that I was in denial. Back then, I felt that working more, working harder and putting in more hours would mean showing and proving my self-worth. Sometimes, working more, working harder, does not lead to productivity but it will ultimately lead to more accumulated stress and sooner or later, resulting in burnout.

^ some quotes that I resonated with, credits to the original owners.

Even during my early years as a student, I could recall that I would forcefully wake up in the wee hours of mornings and tried to study as many topics as I could but nothing really went into my head. It was not surprising to say that my younger self did badly for her exams because she did not fully understand concepts and was simply trying to memorise for the sake of giving model answers on exams.

I can also recall during my first year of my nursing degree, I was always frantic and working on my essays. I did not take any breaks except to leave my room to use the washroom and have my meals. Ironically, putting in longer hours working on my essays did not do any good for my grades and it was only in my second year, I began to try and experiment by allocating specific time for me to work on my essays —- surprisingly, I fared much better during my second year when I learnt to schedule my time for writing my essays instead of always working on the go. It was a pleasant surprise and like my own kind of personal ‘revelation’.

With all that is being said, however- I must admit that to this day, I still struggle with not knowing when is enough and I tend to push myself more. Well, at least for a good start and many years of introspection, I acknowledge this blindspot of mine and I am getting better at recognising the signs and symptoms when my body needs a break.

I learnt this the hard way again, when my schedule was filled with work and studying to the extent that I did not have much of a social life and truthfully, spending time with my loved ones and friends, is what makes me feel very wholesome. I figured out that in life, it’s not solely on the destination but it's the journey and the companionship that matters, because at the end of the day, having the right, nurturing relationships with the right type of people that sees your worth and for who you are on the inside, that's what adds true value into your life.

Exactly, what is self-worth, then?

I read many self-help books on this question, and came to a consensus that in order for others to see your worth, one must first be able to recognise your own worth.

I wonder then: How does one recognise their worth in a hyper fast-paced, capitalistic and materialistic world? Where modern day society tends to treat and view “self-worth”, as numbers, as data – your net worth, how much salary that you are earning, the job title that you have, the type of clothes, shoes, bags, jewellery or watches that you adorn yourself with, the kind of housing or location that one lives in, socioeconomic status, the number of followers you have, your height, your weight, the type of people that you hang out with or you date, however, I’m pretty certain that our self-worth is so much more than these superficial, worldly things that will eventually fade.

Know that you are more than enough.

Know when to say no and learn to set some boundaries for yourself.

Through my own words and experience, self-worth is about how you see and value yourself. By being compassionate and showing the same form of empathy that you have for others, for yourself as well.

Instead of beating yourself up for mistakes that you have made, learn to laugh at yourself and forgive yourself.

We are all only humans and making mistakes is inevitable, it is all part and parcel of life.

Through trial and error, ups and downs, that is how we learn and grow from them.

Be your own cheerleader instead of waiting for others to cheer you on.

Learn to celebrate your own small victories.

Firmly believe that the only person that you should compare yourself to is the person that you were yesterday, or the person you were in the past. Be the person that your younger self needed. It's pointless to compare yourself with others, especially with strangers on the internet, what you see on social media is a perfectly curated feed — never compare your behind the scenes to someone’s highlight reel. You never fully understand what someone is really going through in real life unless you have walked a day in their shoes. Believe that you are enough, and it is perfectly okay to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress, concurrently.

Till then, never forget the importance of resting, being mindful and enjoying the process of having life unfold right in front of your eyes. Through my own experiences, I figured out that rest should be something that you cultivate and make time for regularly, in order for us to recharge, propel us further and that rest is not something that you have to work hard in order to earn it. Rest should not be just about having ‘staycations’, or travelling for the sake of ‘escapism’ from reality.

Make time for resting. Know that you did enough for the day.

Ending off with a quote that I deeply resonate with: “If you do not make time for your wellness, you will be forced to make time for your illness.”

Isn’t our health and wellness the most important thing that we have? Instead of basing our self-worth on productivity and results, shouldn’t we be more protective and nurturing of our own well-being first?

Afterall, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

I will leave that for you guys to ponder upon. Thank you for reading.